The Wall
by ncc73811
Summary: A story centered around the memorial wall in Mass Effect 3. Takes place during ME3, and post-destroy ending. UPDATE: Rated M for strong language.
1. Chapter 1

There was a small crowd gathered outside the elevator of the Normandy. Garrus, Joker, EDI and Shepard stood in front of the memorial wall surveying the names of the lost crew of both the SR-1 and SR-2, bringing back memories of Sovereign's attack and the Collectors. Shepard recalled how without the countermeasure to the seeker swarms, the Collectors could never have been stopped on Horizon or defeated beyond the Omega-4 relay. Without Mordin, none of them would be there.

Holding a small plaque, Shepard stepped towards the wall, placing it in the gap that had been made. Joker stepped forward alongside him.

"Who'd have thought a salarian would give their life to cure the genophage?"

"Mordin wasn't just any salarian. He was one of the bravest, most honourable men I've ever known." Shepard's emotions were still raw, and he tried to avoid the memory of trying to stop Mordin from going up the shroud, from sacrificing himself to counteract his species' sabotage.

"And someone else would almost certainly have gotten it wrong." Garrus' comment brought a small smile to the dozen or so people who had assembled to honour their fallen comrade. Shepard felt better, knowing that whatever happened from now on, Mordin would always be remembered as a hero to the krogan. Wrex had assured him of that. No matter what, Mordin's death had not been in vain.

As the crowd eventually dispersed, only Shepard and Garrus remained by the wall, stood in a silence broken only by the gentle hum of the drive core.

"Hard to stay positive with so much death around, Shepard."

"He made a difference. I guess that's the best we can ask for." Shepard's words were as much for his own comfort as Garrus'.

"What about everyone on Earth? Everyone on Palaven? They making a difference?"

"I don't know. But every one of those lives is worth something. They're who these people died for. And that's what we're fighting for. Remember that, Garrus." As Shepard was about to leave, he saw Javik approaching.

"You are mourning the salarian?"

"Yep"

"His death was a good one. He died with purpose, with honour. That is something from which you must take heart."

"I guess so. Better than death by reaper at least."

"Precisely Commander. And besides, his kidney would have been roasted perfectly in the fire. It is important to see the positive side of war. That is how we will keep fighting."


	2. Chapter 2

Commander Shepard stepped out of the Normandy airlock and into the CIC. It was unusually quiet, most of the crew either asleep or on the citadel, so he made his way to the elevator undisturbed. He planned on placing Thane's plaque on the wall alone, avoiding as much attention as possible. It had been an emotional enough day without having to make some sort of speech about the friend he'd just lost. Shepard felt there were no words that could do Thane justice anyway.

As he exited the elevator on deck 3, Shepard checked the area around him to make sure he was unaccompanied. Once satisfied, he slowly fixed the plaque to the wall, as he had done with every other plaque on there. Shepard always felt responsible for those deaths, that as their commander they had trusted him with their lives and he had failed them. Of course, everyone around him told him that each of those men and women knew the risks when they signed up and would have, without question, sacrificed themselves for the greater cause. The feeling of guilt remained though.

"Tell me about Thane." Liara's sudden appearance behind him caught Shepard off guard. "I didn't have the opportunity to get to know him very well."

"I thought you were still on the citadel."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I just thought maybe-"

"It's fine. I'm fine." Shepard welcomed the company, despite his earlier reservations. If there was someone he felt he could talk to at that moment, it was Liara. "When I first met Thane, he was...not what I expected."

"How so?"

"He wasn't like any other assassin I've ever met. I thought he'd be like Zaeed, cold, uncompromising, you know? Instead he was thoughtful, spiritual, almost...caring." Shepard recalled their first meeting in the Dantius towers. How Thane prayed for forgiveness, and how he told Shepard of his ambition to make the galaxy a brighter place before he died. Then he remembered how eager Thane was to aid his son Kolyat. "He cared about his family, too. He wanted to help his son, even after they'd fallen out. It worked as well. I met Kolyat in the hospital. We were both there when..."

"He meant a lot to you." Liara could see the emotion in his eyes, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. She was one of very few people who could read him so deeply.

"I guess he did. He was a good friend."

"And an even better man" Garrus announced as he strolled up alongside Shepard. "Now how about we honour him at the bar?"

"I think that might be the best thing I've heard all day, Garrus."


	3. Chapter 3

"Joker, set a course for Thessia."

"Thessia? That system's gonna be crawling with reapers real soon, Commander."

"Jeff's assertion is correct, Shepard. Even with stealth systems engaged, once the bulk of the reaper fleet has arrived we will be unable to avoid detection."

"Then get us there now. I plan to be long gone by the time the reapers get there in force." Shepard's meeting with the asari councilor had given him renewed purpose. The possibility of finding the Catalyst, completing the Crucible, and potentially ending the war had provided him with something he had almost lost: Hope.

"Aye Commander. ETA is 30 minutes."

With that Shepard switched off the comm and headed from the galaxy map to the elevator. Instead of pushing the button marked 'Deck 1' as he usually did, he decided to go to Deck 3 to seek out Liara. Once the door opened he didn't have far to look, as she was stood just outside facing the memorial wall.

"I was just looking for you."

"I know, we're going to Thessia. The reapers are already there. The main force has been held up by the small asari fleet guarding the relay, but they don't expect to hold out long. The reapers will reach the planet within the hour." Shepard was surprised by the calmness in Liara's voice, considering what was at stake.

"I know it doesn't look good, but we could end this war on Thessia. The councilor has given me the co-ordinates for an artifact that could help us find the Catalyst." Shepard tried to be as positive as he could, hoping it might give Liara at least a glimmer of hope.

"An artifact on Thessia? Give me the co-ordinates, and I'll see what I can find out."

"Sure. It's a temple of some kind. You probably know more about it than me." He tried to change the subject, to avoid talking about the deteriorating situation on the asari homeworld. "What were you doing out here? By the wall, I mean."

"Oh, just...thinking. It's nothing, Shepard." He noticed the change in her voice immediately, and he could tell something was wrong.

"Thinking about who we've lost?"

"More about who we might lose if we don't win this fight." Both of them were quiet for what seemed like an eternity. Shepard couldn't think of anything to say that would help. He was simply reminded of how high the stakes were. Eventually, gesturing towards the names on the wall, he broke the silence.

"Sometimes it doesn't seem fair, how these people gave their lives to save the galaxy and yet everyone considers me the hero."

"You did die as well. You were just too important to stay that way." Liara let out a small chuckle, seemingly forgetting everything else going on around them.

"That almost makes it worse. Why was I brought back instead of them? Who says I'm too important to the galaxy?"

"You're too important to me." Liara leant in and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see what I can get from these co-ordinates." She went to her office, and left Shepard alone. He felt better, knowing someone cared about him as a person, just for who he was, not because of his role as some kind of great leader, commanding the forces of every species in battle against the reapers.

His train of thought was interrupted by Joker cutting in over the comm.

"Commander, you'd better get up here. We're getting all sorts of transmissions from Thessia, and they're not good."


	4. Chapter 4

The wave of red energy swept relentlessly towards the Normandy. Joker tried to stay ahead of it, but the ship wasn't fast enough to outrun the oncoming wall. As they fell through the wave the lights went dark and the screens were momentarily dead. Once they came back online warnings and alarms sounded across the bridge, causing Joker to hit the large red button that would reset every system.

"Damn it, I've always wanted to press that button. EDI, report." His request was met with an uncharacteristic silence.

"EDI? Shit, must be that big-ass wave." Joker pressed frantically against numerous panels, trying to make sense of the situation.

"Joker, what's going on?" Garrus' voice made the Normandy's pilot jump in his seat, causing a sharp pain in his ribs. He suspected that wasn't good.

"Most systems are pretty fried, Garrus. EDI's offline, comms are down, and I've got just about every possible siren blasting in my ear! Drive core power is dangerously low, I'm gonna have to land her soon." Joker hoped things weren't as bad as they seemed. To defeat the reapers and save the galaxy just to be killed by some energy wave was more than a little insulting. He checked the scanners, as best as he could with what was still functional, and found a planet he could land the ship on. Unexplored, but seemingly a garden world. It'd have to do. After some painfully loud static, Garrus' voice crackled back over the radio.

"Give me some warning before you set her down. I want enough time to brace myself for the impact."

"Have a little faith, Garrus. I just flew us through a ton of reapers with barely a scratch."

As Joker prepared for the approach to land, he noticed an incoming communication. Garrus had made his way to the bridge with Liara and was now stood just behind him.

"We've got a message...looks like it's from Hackett." Joker sounded slightly confused as he said this, and the news surprised the other two as well.

"I thought you said comms were down?"

"They were. Hold on...it's not through the QEC, it looks like a radio signal carried by the comm buoys. We're picking it up on the internal comm net." Joker brought the text up onto a screen in front of him. "It's saying 'Reapers destroyed, Citadel damaged, Anderson and Shepard..." His voice trailed off as he read it. The three of them could all see the end of the message, but none could bring themselves to say it aloud. They stood in a stunned silence, unable to believe that their commander and the leader of earth's resistance were both dead. Suddenly the text was replaced by a large warning:

'Descent velocity above recommended magnitude. Suggest deceleration.'

"Oh shit!" Joker swiped across every panel and flicked a dozen or so switches, trying to stabilise the ship's trajectory. "Approach vector within normal parameters...now. You might want to on to something."

As the dust settled it became clear that the situation wasn't as bad as had been feared. The damage was easily repairable, casualties were minimal and comms had been partially restored. Joker and a few others had stepped outside of the Normandy to survey the planet, but they found nothing of either interest or use before they returned. Joker was back on the bridge, sorting through logs trying to piece together what had happened, when James Vega appeared behind him.

"I, err... I heard about EDI. Is she..." Vega's unusually sombre voice trailed off.

"She's gone. Absorbed most of the shockwave from what I can tell, protected the rest of the systems," Joker didn't allow himself to break down. "Hell, she probably saved all our lives."

"Wow... shit. I guess that...that's a good thing, right? I mean, like, a good way to go. Are you holding up OK?"

"I'll be fine," Joker tried to hide the crack in his voice. "I just need some time."

"Have a break. I'll take over here." James sat down as the pilot left and headed to the elevator. Once the door had shut after him, Vega let out a large sigh. "Fuck. What a day."

Joker and Liara were stood together in front of the memorial wall when Garrus approached them carrying three plaques. He handed the top one, marked EDI, to Joker.

"I figured you'd want to be the one to put it up there. Stick it in the middle if you want," Garrus wasn't particularly adept at kind words, but they could tell he was trying. "She was certainly special enough."

"No, she was a member of the crew, nothing more or less. That's how she'd want to be remembered." Joker placed the plaque among the names on the left side of the wall, holding his hand against it for a few seconds. "Damn it. I miss you."

Next, Garrus stepped up to put Admiral Anderson's name up. As the former captain of the Normandy his plaque was placed in the centre, underneath the Alliance logo but leaving a deliberate gap.

"Survived months leading the resistance on a reaper-infested Earth only to die the day the war ends." Vega was stood next to Javik, and few had noticed him appear among the crowd that had gathered.

"I doubt he'd have it any other way. Apparently he helped Shepard activate the Crucible. Better to die a hero than live to lose the war." Garrus spoke as highly of Anderson as any war hero, human or otherwise. He handed Liara the final plaque, the one reading 'Commander Shepard'. Without a single word, she walked towards the wall and looked down at the plaque with the faintest hint of a smile on her blue lips. As she placed Shepard's name above Anderson's only one thought was in her mind.

 _He's still alive._


	5. Chapter 5

The Citadel was being repaired, the mass relays rebuilt, and what remained of the various fleets were starting to head home. The Normandy arrived to find Admiral Hackett co-ordinating search and rescue efforts across a devastated Earth from aboard the Destiny Ascension. Without satellite coverage they were relying on any ship that had remained in orbit, and most of the surviving Alliance resources were being used to reestablish communication between what was left of the various governments and restore the planet's vital infrastructure. The Normandy's crew had only one concern, however.

"We believe Commander Shepard was inside a piece of the Citadel that fell to Earth somewhere near London. Whilst the Alliance can't officially spare many resources in that area, I've sent everyone and everything I can afford to." Hackett contacted the Normandy as soon as it arrived. "Also, I believe some old friends are already down there searching through the rubble. I'm sending their location over to you."

"Thank you, Admiral. That means a lot." Garrus' gratitude was as sincere as it was unusual.

"Just one more thing: Good luck. Hackett out."

Joker, Garrus, Vega and Liara took a shuttle down to the coordinates Hackett had given them. When they arrived, they were greeted by a pair of familiar faces.

"I suppose you're looking for Shepard. He's not here, in case you hadn't guessed that. But we found the wreckage he came down in." Wrex met his friends with a laugh. "Now we just need to find the fish tank he probably fell through and we'll have all the information we need." He turned to his armor-clad colleague. "I'm just kidding. Grunt, tell 'em what we know."

"We found a piece of Shepard's armor in the debris. There's some blood stains on the ground, but no sign of him other than that. Almost like he was there and then he decided to piss off again." The younger krogan let out his usual chuckle.

"But that would mean... son of a bitch." The realisation had dawned upon Garrus and the rest of them.

 _3 days earlier_

Shepard felt a sharp pain in his abdomen. He opened his eyes, squinting at the unexpected light, and surveyed the area around him. A lot of rubble, not much else. He didn't know how he'd ended up back on earth, or even how he'd survived the blast on the Citadel. As the pain subsided he slowly got to his feet, taking in his surroundings more clearly. A few derelict buildings, no people, and a small glint of light in the distance. Shepard guessed it was about 500 metres away, over a small ridge. As he moved towards it, he began to make out its shape. A box, three wheels on the side, a small hatch half open.

It was a Mako.

As the commander entered the battered vehicle, he was surprised to find the controls mostly intact. It surprised him further when his attempts to power it up were successful. He tried to access the communication system, but the radio appeared to be, as Vega would put it, fucked. He searched for maps showing locations of anywhere, or anything, he could use to contact the Normandy. Eventually, he found the coordinates of a small underground resistance communication facility, presumably unmanned and forgotten after the detonation of the Crucible. With the state the Mako was in, it would take a few days to get there. He didn't care; he had all the time in the world.

Liara was in her office on the Normandy, pouring over data and images from the various ships in orbit of earth. Specifically, she was going through data concerning the area of London where Shepard's armor had been found. She was interrupted by an incoming communication from Admiral Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. Tali had travelled back to Rannoch with the Quarian fleet, and just received the news about Shepard.

"Liara, is it true what Joker said about Shepard, that he might be alive?"

"I don't know. No one does. I'm searching through every piece of data I can get to try and find any clue to what happened, to where Shepard is. And if anyone can survive it, he can." Liara had a determination in her voice that Tali wasn't accustomed to.

"Keelah... I feel so bad for leaving. Especially when everyone else is there, looking for him."

"You were right to go back to Rannoch. You know Shepard wouldn't want you to abandon your people, certainly not for his sake."

"Still... I should be helping, after everything he did for me. Without him, my people wouldn't have a home to go back to. I suppose you'll be taking that plaque down."

"I'll wait for Shepard to do that himself. I don't want to tempt fate." One of the screens in front of Liara lit up with a burst of new data. "I have to go. I'll keep you up to date with whatever happens here. Good luck, Tali."

The data that had just arrived was from the Alliance, concerning records from the ground assault on London during the last day of the war. They had accounted for almost all of equipment lost, most of it found destroyed across the city. Only two soldiers, a few rifles and one Mako were still missing. Liara checked the last known coordinates of the missing items, and nothing useful came up until she read the location of the Mako. It had been hit by gunfire from Reaper ground forces, and contact was lost just before the Crucible fired when the vehicle was at almost exactly the same place Shepard's armor had been found. A Mako and Shepard's supposedly dead body go missing from the same place with no one else around? Liara could think of only one explanation.


	6. Chapter 6

It was the middle of the night aboard the Normandy, high in orbit above earth, and there was virtually no activity anywhere on the ship. Most of the crew were staying on the planet while they took part in the rebuilding efforts. Only Liara was still working in her office, looking over images from various ships, hoping to find any evidence to suggest where Shepard was or if he was indeed still alive. She had sat in front the screens for hours, and hadn't slept for almost two days, unable to drag herself away from her quest to find the missing commander. Suddenly, on one of the monitors she spotted what seemed to be tracks in the desolate landscape, barely visible and out of focus, but definitely there. Liara checked the coordinates: 50 kilometres north of London, and after pulling up earlier images of the same area she was sure they'd appeared in the last twelve hours. No Alliance patrols had been through in the last week, and no signs of survivors had been found anywhere close. It had to be the missing Mako, and to Liara that meant it had to be Shepard.

Liara put the coordinates onto a datapad and headed straight for the cargo bay. The ship was deserted, and she took the shuttle out without anyone noticing. It was a few minutes before she was comfortable with the controls having never flown it before, but she descended down through the atmosphere above Europe. Eventually the shuttle reached the location of the tracks from the photo, and Liara began to follow them north. She noticed they traced through the remains of destroyed settlements, the odd half-demolished house standing out against the bleak countryside. Shepard had presumably stopped at various points to find abandoned supplies. Continuing to follow the tracks of the Mako, Liara guessed that he couldn't be much further ahead. Sure enough, she soon saw a faint glimmer as the lights of the shuttle reflected back up off something metallic.

As she moved closer, she could begin to make out the distinctive shape of the vehicle. Landing the shuttle next to it, Liara ran towards the hatch and wrestled it open. Inside, she found Shepard asleep with his arm bandaged, and tried to gently wake him up.

"Shepard" she whispered softly into his ear. Slowly his eyes opened, groaning heavily as he lifted his head slightly.

"Liara? What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you. We thought you were dead." Liara's voice was filled with relief.

"Yeah, I seem to be making a habit of that. What happened to everyone when the Crucible fired?" Shepard was almost fully awake now, and stepped outside towards the shuttle.

"We had to evacuate the system. The shockwave took out most of the ships that the reapers didn't take care of. The Normandy and the crew are mostly okay, but we lost EDI."

"What do you mean, lost her?" Shepard's enthusiasm was completely replaced with concern.

"She's gone, Shepard. According to Tali, it's a similar situation with the geth. Something in the Crucible wiped out every AI." Liara followed him inside the shuttle and powered up the engines.

"Where's the rest of the crew?" Shepard sat next to her in the cockpit and slumped back in his seat.

"A lot of them are on earth. I think everyone left on the Normandy is asleep, although Garrus said something about calibrations."

"Figures."

"I doubt anyone noticed that the shuttle's gone. We'll be back in a few minutes." Liara looked over to the commander, only to find that he had fallen back asleep.

As they exited the shuttle and headed together for the elevator, the door opened to reveal Joker, his smile barely visible in the dim light.

"Welcome back, commander. Actually I guess it'll probably be more like admiral now we've saved the galaxy. Again."

"I'm sorry about EDI, Joker. It must be pretty hard for you." Shepard's voice was sincere, if a little hoarse.

"Don't worry about me. She saved the rest of us, so I guess it's what she would've wanted. You've looked better yourself."

"I'll live, which is better than usual for me. I just need... some rest." He yawned mid-sentence with fatigue.

"Well I'd say you've earned that. But there's one thing you're gonna want to do first." Joker led them into the elevator, and they headed for the Normandy's crew deck. As the three of them stepped outside, Shepard saw his name on the wall and smiled.

"I see." He walked up to the plaque and took it off. "We won't be needing this just yet." He handed it to Joker, who grinned at the other two.

"I'll go and put it somewhere safe. Out the airlock, maybe..."


End file.
